I have been dealing with the cruel, pointless death of all my childhood fantasies that my parents will ever view me as an adult with the mental capacity of anything other than a newt. For many years I have silently listened while they berated me for my parenting choices, my choice in mates, my spending habits and my driving methods.
RCS and I fell recently into an ugly little financial catch-22 when I wrecked my car. We have yet to find our way back out of the hole we dug and my parents were generous enough to offer to pay some of our debt. I do remember feeling a little shocked that they were being so generous and warned RCS that this may come back to bite us on the butt! To make a long story short, not all the funds were used in the exact fashion that they were meant to be used in. RCS being the honest, integrity riddled man that he is, told my parents this. My dad decided it was all my fault and woke me from a dead slumber to screech at me for my inappropriate spending habits.
I must say that this was NOT the CORRECT way to gain my SYMPATHY on the subject! I tried to explain to them that for the most part the money was used to fill the gaps from lost wages and for some emergency dental work, but they were not to be appeased. I on the other hand was supposed to quietly accept the emotional battery as my due for having been the one to blame for the missapropriated funds. (I haven't been shopping for myself for long enough that I can't actually recall the last time I went shopping for myself. All-in-all a very depressing fact.)
I called my mother back after a disastrous call (to her from RCS) to sooth over any hurt feelings and accidently called momzilla instead. (I can't recall in recent history my mom ever being quite this vehement or ugly about my parenting skills) My hand was unfortunately forced and I had to eat her head (which isn't all that easy to do over the phone, but I did anyway.) The conversation went a little like this:
Mom: I just got off the phone with RCS.
Me: Ummm, yes that is why I'm calling. RCS was concerned that the conversation didn't go all that well and wanted me to assure you that there are no hard feelings on our end.
Mom: Well we just worry! What will happen when you stop paying for your house and they throw you ALL out into the streets? I'm worried that you'll lose one of the kids or your job. What would you DO THEN?
Me: Ummm, I've never missed a mortgage payment mom. I don't think that we'll be out on the street.....
Mom: WELL YOU COULD BE! You two spend like you've got a drug problem or you're alcoholics or something. You don't do right by those kids and we aren't able to do ANYTHING about it!!
Me: Surprising as it may seem mom, I have supported this family on my own. I am the mother of six children and not one of them have died, let alone been hurt through any parenting decisions of ours . And all of this without your help or advice. You do not get to speak to me this way. I am a grown woman, not a stupid little six year-old with no common sense. I am through being treated as though I couldn't find my own ass with 2 hands and a road map. You don't get to criticize my parenting, my spending, or my choice in mates. You haven't the right and I am tired of it.
Mom: *deafening silence*
Me: I have stood by and let you and dad run right over the top of me, in front of my children no less and I am done.
Mom: Well that's not what I meant by that. But you are angry and I can't talk to you right now.
*There was more to this conversation, but it was relatively unrelated to this little debacle so therefore not worth mentioning.*
So my parents are going to be bringing back Jade and Jordy in the morning and I have high hopes of sleeping right through the visit. Unfortunately RCS wasn't treated any better and therefore is not really all that excited to have to field all their questions himself. I have recently been given some very useful advice concerning this unpleasant little scene. It goes a little like this: "Don't pick useless fights with those close to you as it will only cause more trouble later."
Ok, I'll admit it sounds like it came right out of a fortune cookie, but I promise it didn't. It sounds plausible and that's terribly convenient for me....So I'll just take the good advice and stay in bed, that's my story and I'm stickin to it!!
On other fronts Bec has given her notice at her job, YAY BEC!!!!! I have been looking into some other fields in nursing and have been offered a job with a home health company. It's only part time right now, but it has the possibility to grow into a full-time position. So if I keep the full time job and just schedule for the 3 12hr shifts a week then I'll have time before and after school on Mon - Thurs that I can see clients. Not optimal I'll admit, but doable until something else opens up.
Not to keep harping on a dead subject, but my dad was told by us that we couldn't afford Christmas for the kids and he suggested that we fill their stockings up with oranges and nuts. Because our kids have too much as it is and they don't appreciate anything anyway and we don't need to spoil them with more.
The story behind this tidbit of advice is from my maternal grandmother who as a child lived in a very poor farming community and her mother was a divorcee, almost unheard of in those days. As a result of their low status in the community not many people helped them out and for Christmas one year all that GGrandma Smith could afford was an orange apiece for her four children, my Grandma was a little girl and she still tell us about how wonderful that orange was and how happy she was to get it!
A beautiful story, but not dad's to tell (although he's tried to adopt it on countless occasions to explain away his refusal to celebrate such a "Pagan Holiday!") Yes folks it is a pagan holiday that was adopted by the Roman Catholic church in an attempt to lure the simple folk into the fold. No real secret there, but as a child it didn't make much difference to me. I just knew that we were the only people in our church that weren't allowed to celebrate.
So, RCS, tongue-in -cheek has in fact filled all the stockings with oranges, nuts, apples and bananas. Hope that makes dad happy. (the gifts are hidden in my closet, unlike my family RCS's family has come through for the Seifert kids! Yay, I don't have to explain why Santa missed our house this year! *sniff*) Thank you and a MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!